i’ve seen cocaine bring out the demons inside. cheatin’ and lyin’
friendship cease, no peace in the mind. stealin’ and takin’ anything to fix the pieces inside. broken, hopeless, headed nowhere. only motivation for what the dealer’s supplying. that rush, that drug, that dope. those pills, that crumb, that roach. thinkin’ I would never do that, not that drug and growing up nobody ever does. until your stuck, lookin’ in the mirror like I can’t believe what i’ve become. swore I was goin’ to be someone and growing up everyone always does. we sell our dreams and our potential, toescape, through that buzz. just keep me up, keep me up
If you really knew me you would know i am more self concious then anyone out their, whenever i enter a group i feel like im being judged. I have been heartbroken to many times , and i have MAJOR trust issues. My parents split up when i was 5, and i miss the relationship i had with my dad. I get teased by alot of people and it cause’s me to try to act different , and be noticed in a different way. When i smile its sometimes fake , im not the happiest person out there. I have extreme shyness , and i hate being in big groups. If you really knew me , you would know that everyday i try and try to live up to everyones expectations but it usually fails. If you really knew me , im usually upset over somthing. If you really knew me you would know that i wish i was somthing else, I hate what i have become. If you really knew me you would know i just want to be loved, and be able to love that person back. If you really knew me you would know that somtimes the way i show affection isnt so noticable. If you really knew me, you would know that when you call me pretty, i wont beleive you. If you really knew me , you would know i dont think alot of people care about me in this world anymore , and it takes alot to prove that you do. If you really knew me , everything you say to me i will take in consideration and try to meet you expectations, even if i dont want to. If you really knew me you would know that your needs will come before mine no matter what. If you really knew me , you would know i usually have alot of stress on me witch causes me to seem really rude. If you really knew me you would know that ive been bullied and it has made my self esteem nothing , i dont even beleive in myself anymore. If you really knew me, you would know im a super caring person, i just cant seem to get my life straight. You would know that even though i may seem happy alot, im usually not. I know that this seems like im depressing but im not. If you really knew , you would know all i want in my life, is to be loved, and to be happy. If you really knew me you would know i lie alot because im scared people are going to hate me cause i cant live up to what they want. If you really knew me you would know the only guy im ever going to be inlove with is named jordan scahfer. but i fucked that up to. he was my world the only guy i could ever count on. and i lost him. over me being a FUCKING IDIOT. ill wait forever for him. i just wanted to be his princess. and i lost it all. i’ll wait my entire life for him if i have to.. hes my prince. and i hope he dosent find a new princess.